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The Disaster Artist Movie Poster

Quotes from The Disaster Artist

Showing all 28 items
    • [from trailer]
    • Sandy Schklair: Action!
    • [Wiseau enters the scene. He pauses, forgetting his lines again]
    • Tommy Wiseau: What is line?
    • [from trailer]
    • Sandy Schklair: Take 67, Action!
    • [Wiseau enters the scene]
    • Tommy Wiseau: I hit her!
    • Sandy Schklair: No! Do you want to change the line?
    • Greg Sestero: You're doing great, man. We'll get there!
    • [from trailer]
    • Sandy Schklair: Why is he having sex with her bellybutton? He knows where her vagina is, right?
    • [as Claudette in "The Room"]
    • Carolyn Minnott: I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.
    • [as Johnny kills himself in "The Room"]
    • Dan Janjigian: Do it!
    • JulietteRobyn Paris: Do it! Do it!
    • The Whole Audience: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
    • Juliette: It's still going?
    • [Practicing his lines]
    • Tommy Wiseau: 'Oh, hi Mark... ' 'Oh, hi Mark... ' 'Oh, hi Mark... '
    • Tommy Wiseau: Oh, hi Greg!
    • Judd Apatow: Just because you want it doesn't mean it can happen.
    • Mrs. Sestero: How old are you?
    • Tommy Wiseau: Don't worry, I'm Greg age.
    • Mrs. Sestero: You're 19?
    • [shrugs]
    • [Sarcastic]
    • Mrs. Sestero: Yeah. I just turned 14.
    • [Not knowing it's sarcastic]
    • Tommy Wiseau: Wow, happy birthday!
    • Philip: Hey, Tommy, how old is Denny supposed to be?
    • Tommy Wiseau: He your age. 15-16 years old boy.
    • Philip: Uh... I'm 26
    • [pauses]
    • Tommy Wiseau: Same thing.
    • Tommy Wiseau: Los Angeles, everybody want to be star. All the pretty boys. They're lining up for the big shot.
    • Greg Sestero: Just uh, just have to get lucky, I guess.
    • Tommy Wiseau: No. No. It's not luck, Greg. Greg, you have to be the best. You have to be the best you can be. And never give up.
    • Greg Sestero: We are doing this.
    • Tommy Wiseau: Tomorrow, this will all be yours, Greg.
    • Greg Sestero: Ah! We will own you, L.A.!
    • Tommy Wiseau: Watch out, here we come!
    • Greg Sestero: You will know our names!
    • Greg Sestero: I wish we could just make our own movie.
    • Tommy Wiseau: That great idea.
    • Greg Sestero: You're really gonna make this thing?
    • Tommy Wiseau: No, Greg. We are going to do it. Together.
    • Henry: People are very strange these days! Oh, hi Betty.
    • [while auditioning]
    • Tommy Wiseau: The rules to the class are simple.
    • [to Carolyn, after she fainted on the set]
    • Greg Sestero: Can I ask you something?Why do you do it? You've got a husband, grand-kids. You live fifty miles out of town. And you're waking up at 5, driving all this way, for what?
    • Carolyn Minnott: We're actors, Greg. For you, me, people like us, even the worst day on a movie set is better than the best day doing anything else.
    • [to Greg]
    • Philip: Can we ask you something? What's this movie about?
    • Robyn Paris: I have a theory - it's autobiographical. Someone in his life was a Denny, a kid brother, someone he looked out for. Someone else was a Mark, the better-looking friend he was always jealous of. I'm sure there was a Michelle somewhere, and a Mike.
    • Juliette: So who was Lisa? Someone who broke his heart, stabbed him the back and ruined his life?
    • Robyn Paris: Pretty obvious to me - that's the universe.
    • [after driving around aimlessly]
    • Tommy Wiseau: Sorry I'm late, traffic was crazy!
    • Justin Hammer: Come here, Tommy. Just because you want it doesn't mean it can happen. Okay? It's one in a million, even if you have Brando's talent. It's not going to happen for you, okay? But now you have to go.
    • [upset]
    • Tommy Wiseau: But, maybe I... maybe.
    • Justin Hammer: I'm not saying "maybe", I'm saying "not in a million years"!
    • Tommy Wiseau: But after that?
    • Justin Hammer: And *not* after!
    • [after Tommy is escorted out of the restaurant]
    • Restaurant Manager: I'm sorry, sir. Is everything okay, now?
    • [sarcastic]
    • Justin Hammer: Yeah, thanks for rushin' over - he made it through two fuckin' acts of Shakespeare!
    • Amber: What do you do if it turns out really bad? Like... Like, if it turns out terrible. Would you, can you... take it off your IMDb?
    • Tommy Wiseau: Don't talk to robo-crab, he's shy.
    • [Watching the flower shop scene]
    • Sandy Schklair: Who doesn't recognize that guy?
    • [horrified; as Tommy is dry-humping the red dress]
    • Juliette: I wanted to keep that dress.
    • [Throwing newspapers and a trash can in a fit of rage]
    • Tommy Wiseau: Everybody betray me!
    • [Kicks the newspaper stand]
    • Tommy Wiseau: Ow, my foot.
    • [Post-Credits scene]
    • Henry: Hey, how are you doing?
    • Tommy Wiseau: Go where?
    • Henry: To my house.
    • [pause]
    • Tommy Wiseau: I'm not going anywhere with you.
    • Henry: You think you have long hair, you own the world? Is that the idea, huh?
    • Tommy Wiseau: I stop you. I stop you right there. What is this accent? It sound familiar. You from New Orleans?
    • Henry: Yeah, so what?
    • Tommy Wiseau: What part?
    • Henry: Chalmett.
    • Tommy Wiseau: I love New Orleans.
    • Henry: You know where Chalmett?
    • Tommy Wiseau: Fine. Yeah, I'm fine. Why you ask?
    • Tommy Wiseau: Yeah.
    • Henry: Okay, cool. You want a drink or something?
    • Tommy Wiseau: No. I'm not thirsty either. I just want to stand here.
    • Henry: What's your name? Tommy, right?
    • Tommy Wiseau: Yeah. My name's Tommy, with a capital 'Go away'.
    • Henry: It's okay! Have a nice one. Okay?
    • Tommy Wiseau: Okay.
    • Henry: Okay, bye.
    • [leaves]
    • [confused]
    • Tommy Wiseau: 'Kay...
    • Henry: Why are you standing against a wall?
    • [sighs]
    • Henry: People are very strange these days! Oh, hi Betty.
    • Tommy Wiseau: My god... Who are these friends Greg has?
    • Tommy Wiseau: Look, I just a guy leaning on a wall! No big deal!
    • Henry: Why you so lonely? Tell me.
    • Tommy Wiseau: What? I'm just standing here alone. Don't mean I'm lonely.
    • Henry: You need help, I see it.
    • Tommy Wiseau: It's not pity party, it's just party.
    • Henry: You go with me?
    • [as Tommy is dry-humping her navel while filming the sex scene]
    • Juliette: I think you're aiming a little bit high.
    • Tommy Wiseau: I aim where I aim, just do the scene.
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