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Penguins of Madagascar Movie Poster

Quotes from Penguins of Madagascar

Showing all 30 items
    • Classified: Remain calm, penguins. You're now under the protection of the North Wind.
    • [Skipper munches again]
    • Classified: task for...
    • [Skipper munches again]
    • Classified: force...
    • [Skipper munches again]
    • Classified: dedicated to help...
    • [Skipper munches again]
    • Classified: to help...
    • [Skipper munches again]
    • Classified: dedicated to...
    • Skipper: Private, dibble me.
    • [Skipper munches again]
    • Classified: dedicated to helping animals who can't
    • [Skipper munches again]
    • Classified: help
    • [Skipper munches again]
    • Classified: themselves.
    • [Skipper munches again for the last time, then Classified growls]
    • [Private takes a dibble bag out of Rico's body, gives it to Skipper, then he jumps in front of Classified]
    • Skipper: We're not going anywhere with you.
    • [munches]
    • Skipper: We don't even know who the heck you are.
    • Classified: The North Wind is an elite undercover inter-spe...
    • [Skipper munches]
    • Classified: an elite undercover inter-species...
    • Private: Hello! Are you my family?
    • [salutes Private, who salutes back]
    • [tussles Private's head]
    • Skipper: So adorable.
    • [to Kowalski]
    • Skipper: Kowalski, what's our trajectory?
    • Kowalski: Ninety-five percent certain we're still doomed.
    • Skipper: And the, uh... other five percent?
    • Kowalski: Adventure and glory like no penguins have ever seen before.
    • Skipper: I'll take that action.
    • Private: Where are going?
    • Skipper: The future, boys. The glorious future.
    • [the three penguins turn, knowing that they're far away from land, and nod to each other before turning back to face Private]
    • Kowalski: You don't have a family, and we're all going to die. Sorry.
    • Private: W-What?
    • [Skipper elbows Kowalski]
    • Kowalski: What? I thought that was what we were all nodding about.
    • [hits Kowalski]
    • Skipper: No one's gonna die.
    • [to Private]
    • Skipper: You know what you got, kid? You've got us. We've got each other. And if that ain't a family, I don't know what is.
    • Skipper: Follow me, boys! We're going in hot!
    • [as his butt goes on fire]
    • Private: Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
    • Skipper: No one likes a show off, Private.
    • [They've arrived in Shanghai]
    • Kowalski: We've arrived in the center of Dublin, Ireland.
    • Skipper: We gotta blend in. River dance.
    • [They start river dancing]
    • Skipper: Alright, you! Where's Dave?
    • [repeatedly slaps a baby squid]
    • Skipper: Give us the goods.
    • Kowalski: Sir, that's a baby squid.
    • [the baby squid starts crying, then Skipper puts the baby squid down]
    • Skipper: Sorry, laddie.
    • Skipper: Debbie!
    • Dave: Hello?
    • [the screen goes off]
    • Dave: Hello?
    • Kowalski: But, now we can hear you.
    • Short Fuse: So annoying!
    • Kowalski: But we cannot see.
    • Short Fuse: Every time!
    • Classified: It's like talking to my parents.
    • Kowalski: Dave.
    • Skipper: Dave!
    • Corporal: He hacked into our system.
    • [There's no sound onscreen as Dave speaks]
    • Eva: Where's the sound?
    • Kowalski: Dave, your microphone, it's not on.
    • Classified: Click on the button with the picture of the microphone.
    • Short Fuse: Every time a villain calls in, this happens.
    • [the penguins have just blown up an old ship]
    • [Suddenly, Private's egg explodes open, much to the disgust of the three penguins]
    • Skipper: Daaagh! That's disgusting! I think I have amniotic sac in my mouth!
    • Skipper: Kowalski, analysis?
    • Kowalski: We are really... awesome at this!
    • Skipper: Boys, we did it! Mission accomplished! Hey, we could do our thing! High one!
    • [They all high five, until Skipper accidentally hits the egg they saved]
    • Skipper: Ooh. My bad.
    • [the penguins all look in awe as the egg is about to hatch]
    • Skipper: Look! It's the miracle of birth.
    • Kowalski: A moment of extraordinary beauty.
    • Documentary Filmmaker: Antarctica, an inhospitable wasteland, but even here, on the Earth's frozen bottom, we find life. And not just any life: penguins. Joyous, frolicking, waddling, cute and cuddly life. Look at them, tumbling onto their chubby bum bums. Who could take these frisky snow-clowns...
    • Kowalski: Skipper, we appears to be flightless.
    • [looks at his wings]
    • Skipper: Oh, well what's the point of these?
    • [Rico seems to have an idea. He hits Skipper's wing in some sort of high five]
    • Skipper: Woah, I like it! Hey, this could be our thing! What're we going to call it? Let's call it the, uh... high one.
    • [as the older penguins almost fall on baby Skipper, Rico, and Kowalski, they quickly move out of the way]
    • Skipper: Seriously? Does anyone even know where we're marching to?
    • Antarctic Penguin: Who cares?
    • Antarctic Penguin: I question nothing.
    • Antarctic Penguin: Me too.
    • Antarctic Penguin: Me too.
    • Skipper: Well, fine. We'll just fly to the front of the line and see for ourselves. Kowalski, Rico, engage aerial surveillance.
    • [they flap their wings but cannot fly]
    • Skipper: You're up, Private.
    • [Private comes out behind a "Wet Floor" sign, dressed as a mermaid]
    • Skipper: You just mermaid my day.
    • Classified: Short Fuse, you were supposed to handcuff them to the raft!
    • Short Fuse: I tried, but they don't have hands, they just have flippers, Boss! And I have flippers. So it's flipping useless!
    • [the Penguins are dressed as German folk musicians]
    • Skipper: We take this shame to our graves.
    • Kowalski: Agreed.
    • [slap dance starts]
    • Skipper: Lost visuals. Kowalski! Be my eyes.
    • Private: Skipper wouldn't care. Plan or no! Fancy equipment or no! He'd never leave a man behind!
    • Classified: We are the North Wind, and no one, NO ONE, breaks the Wind.
    • Dave: Nicolas! Cage them!
    • Kowalski: Sir, how long do we stand here like this?
    • Skipper: Until we reach maximum coolness.
    • [Beat]
    • Skipper: There it is.
    • Skipper: Leopard seals! Nature's snakes.
    • Kowalski: Aren't snakes nature's snakes?
    • Skipper: How should I know? I live on a flippin' frozen tundra!
    • Dave: The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my BURNING thirst for revenge...
    • [Skipper and Kowalski are confused]
    • Dave: ...and my precious souvenir snow globe collection.
    • [sees Rico swallowing all of his snow globes]
    • [groans]
    • Dave: What is WRONG with you?
    • [mumbles]
    • Rico: I dunno.
    • Dave: Drew! Barry! More power!
    • Dave: Charlize, they're on the ray! Helen, hunt them down! William, hurt them! Halle, bury them! Hugh! Jack! Man the battle stations! Kevin! Bake on! We're still going to need that victory cake!
    • Private: So... how do I look?
    • Skipper: Yes, sir. You are the most meaningful and valued member of this team.
    • [Private salutes Skipper, who salutes back. Kowalski and Rico salute as well. Skipper does Private's salute by crossing his eyes]
    • Kowalski: You're hideously disfigured and will probably be hunted for sport.
    • Private: What?
    • [Skipper elbows Kowalski]
    • Kowalski: What?
    • Skipper: If there's anything we've learned from this delightful adventure, KOWALSKI, it's that looks don't matter. It's what you do that counts.
    • [overwhelmed with emotion]
    • Skipper: And look at what you did.
    • [the penguins from different countries look at Private, to his delight. Baby penguins pop out from behind parent penguins]
    • [when Dave breaks in his own ray to get Private]
    • Private: Hi-ya!
    • [punches Dave in the face with his butt-hand]
    • [as Dave prepares to use his ray on Private]
    • Kowalski: You're the monster!
    • [angrily]
    • Dave: Yes! I'm the monster. Everyone made that clear to me every day in my entire life. But now, let's see how much everyone loves YOU when YOU'RE the monster!
    • Classified: What is that?
    • [they see numerous painful weapons as they are going to be killed on the ride]
    • Classified: Oh, great.
    • Short Fuse: Oh, no! This it it!
    • Corporal: I don't wanna die, I'm squishy!
    • [before they are killed by one of the weapons, the ride stops and goes reverse to see Private knocked out the squid controlling ]
    • Classified: OH NO, WE'RE DEAD! DEAD! DEAAAAAAAAAAD!
    • [to the North Wind team]
    • Private: I pushed a button!
    • [holding a microphone]
    • Dave: I'M HAPPY! And yet...
    • [realizes his revenge succeeded]
    • Dave: Now, that I have my revenge, I feel... empty. As if, what I needed all along was... MORE REVENGE! In fact, Robin, write this down. Tomorrow, we move on: Kittens, then Puppies, Bunnies, Pandas...
    • [he sees the Penguins' using his ray, gasping, then is angry]
    • [talking to his minions on the microphone]
    • Dave: Charlize, they're on the ray!
    • [he runs and rips off his human disguise]
    • Dave: Helen, hunt them down! William, hurt them! Halle, bury them! Hugh! Jack! Man the battle stations! Kevin! Bake on! We're still going to need that victory cake!
    • [Dave drops from the ceiling in human disguise]
    • Skipper: Who are you?
    • Dave: Dave!
    • [Smiles]
    • Private: Dave!
    • [Annoyed]
    • Dave: DA-VUH!
    • [Rolls his eyes]
    • Rico: Bleh.
    • Dave: The humans know me as Doctor Octavius Brine, renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives... but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hoped you'd never hear again. A PHANTOM! A shadow of a former life! I... AM...
    • [rips off disguise, but wig remains on his head]
    • Dave: Dave!
    • [Whispers]
    • Skipper: Kowalski?
    • [Whispers back]
    • Kowalski: Sorry, sir, no clue.
    • [Looks up, sees the wig on his head, and pulls it off]
    • Dave: Dave!
    • Skipper: Dave?
    • Kowalski: Dave...?
    • [after waking up from being tranquilized]
    • Skipper: What did North Wind do to us?
    • Kowalski: But sir, we've got to be five miles up. That pretty much limits our options.
    • Skipper: I MAKE MY OWN OPTIONS.
    • [Punches the button closest to him, which opens the cargo hatch]
    • [Turns around and shows the dart stuck in his back]
    • Private: They gave us badges!
    • [Snatches the dart from his own shoulder]
    • Skipper: No, not badges... Tranquilizer darts!
    • [Looks around and realizes they're in a plane]
    • Skipper: Classified. That low-down, dirty dog is trying to kick us off the mission!
    • Kowalski: He thinks we can't do anything because we're just
    • [makes quotation marks with his flippers]
    • Kowalski: "penguins".
    • Skipper: Well, penguins are our flesh and feathers! They're US! And if anyone's going to save us, it's us.
    • Classified: Just tell me everything you know.
    • Skipper: Aaaah! Why didn't you say so?
    • Skipper: All right!
    • [Inaudible word]
    • Skipper: Never trust a Dutchman in a tulip fight.
    • [taking notes]
    • Classified: Tulip fight...
    • Skipper: Canada is secretly training an army of Sasquatch.
    • Classified: Sasquatch...
    • Skipper: Hot dogs are, in fact, only 17% actual dog.
    • [exasperated]
    • Classified: Not everything-everything! Everything regarding your abduction by Dr. Octavius Brine...
    • Classified: What you, of course, could not know is that Dr. Brine's laboratory in Venice is secretly developing a doomsday weapon called: the Medusa Serum.
    • [shocked]
    • Classified: You... you stole the Medusa Serum?
    • Skipper: Well, stole the serum. Saved the day. Did your job for you. Call it what you will.
    • Skipper: Ah! But what *you* don't know is that Dirk...
    • Kowalski: Dave.
    • Skipper: - Dave, wont be using his Bazooka Serum...
    • Kowalski: Medusa Serum.
    • Skipper: - Medusa Serum on anybody!
    • Kowalski: *That* part is accurate.
    • Classified: Show 'em, Rico.
    • [Rico regurgitates the canister of Medusa Serum onto the table. Skipper stands triumpantly over it]
    • [fixes the video connection]
    • Dave: How about now?
    • Classified: Turn yourself in, David. You are powerless now that I have stolen your precious Medusa Serum.
    • Skipper: What? You didn't steal that!
    • Classified: It's over.
    • Dave: It's over?
    • [mock-confusion]
    • Dave: Then... why did I call you? Wierd. OH! Maybe it was to show you *this*!
    • [turns camera to reveal a large vat of Medusa Serum]
    • [collective gasp from everyone]
    • Kowalski: That is a lot of serum for four penguins.
    • Dave: Oh, you thought this was just about you four? No, no-no-no-no. We're just getting started.
    • [takes a selfie]
    • Private: Hurray!
    • Dave: Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go do some shopping... FOR REVENGE!
    • [hits button, buzzer sounds. hits button again, same result]
    • Dave: Wait. How do you...?
    • [gurgles instructions]
    • Dave: What do I push?
    • [points and gurgles]
    • Dave: Is it the red, or...
    • [points, gurgles, and slaps own head in frustration]
    • Dave: I thought it was... it's not this -
    • [screen goes black]
    • Classified: Yes! Way to go, looks fantastic!
    • Dave: Excellent! Now, where was I?
    • [laughs maniacally]
    • Kowalski: Dave!
    • Short Fuse: Grrrr!
    • Dave: Greetings, North Wind. I see you've met my old zoo-mates.
    • Skipper: We were never "mates." There was no mating.
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