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Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle Movie Poster

Quotes from Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Showing all 36 items
    • [Martha has become Ruby Roundhouse and an insect tried to bite her on her exposed stomach]
    • Ruby Roundhouse: Why am I wearing this outfit in a jungle? Tiny, little shorts and a leather halter top. I mean, what is this?
    • [a troop of motorcycle killers appear]
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: This is a video game, which means we have special skills.
    • [Bravestone runs at super speed]
    • Moose Finbar: Why am I running so slow?
    • [Professor Oberon gets eaten by a hippo]
    • Moose Finbar: You better go in there and save her!
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: I'm not gonna get in there, you get in there!
    • Moose Finbar: I got a backpack on! You don't get in water with a backpack, everybody knows that.
    • [Fridge rushes by Martha and nearly knocks her down]
    • Martha: Hey, person walking!
    • [sarcasm]
    • Martha: Are you gonna help, or are you too pretty?
    • [serious]
    • Bethany: I'm too pretty.
    • [Bethany has become Shelly Oberon]
    • [sees her reflection]
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: NOO! I'm an over-weight middle-aged man!
    • [from trailer]
    • Ruby Roundhouse: Guys, how are we gonna get home?
    • [when he sees all his weaknesses]
    • Moose Finbar: I hate this game.
    • [bids farewell to his manhood]
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Later, dude.
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Oh my God, this is so cool! Martha, come look at my penis!
    • Ruby Roundhouse: No, thanks!
    • [as Bravestone places the Jaguar's Eye onto the statue]
    • AlexDr. Smolder BravestoneMoose FinbarProfessor Shelly OberonRuby Roundhouse: JUMANJI!
    • [after Bravestone places the Jaguar's Eye onto the statue]
    • AlexDr. Smolder BravestoneMoose FinbarProfessor Shelly OberonRuby Roundhouse: JUMANJI!
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Get on my back!
    • Moose Finbar: I would rather die.
    • [cut to Bravestone carrying Moose on his bacl]
    • [Bethany saves Alex, he hugs her]
    • Moose Finbar: Uh... you have a situation.
    • [sees he has an erection]
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Oh my God! These things are crazy!
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: I can't do this!
    • Moose Finbar: I saw you fix a helicopter in mid-air!
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: It's a lot easier to be brave when you've got lives to spare. It's a lot harder when you only have one life.
    • Moose Finbar: We always only have one life, man. That's how it is.
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: I want to stay with you, like this.
    • Ruby Roundhouse: Then let's be like this... every day. Just come home.
    • [to Martha]
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Aren't you being judgmental about others, because you'd burn people rather than get burned yourself? I'm just saying, you're a babe, go with it.
    • Moose Finbar: Get me the hell out of here!
    • Boy at Bazaar: What you seek is in the basket / If you're not careful, you'll be in a casket / Trust each other, and never blink / The missing piece is not what you think.
    • [Dr Bravestone retrieves the Jaguar's Eye from a herd of angry rhinos, by sacrificing Moose]
    • Moose Finbar: You do NOT want to know what's under those rhinos! I saw things I can never unsee, things that touched me!
    • Ruby Roundhouse: Could I borrow your jacket? I feel like I'm wearing a bikini.
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: I once wore a bikini to school.
    • Moose Finbar: Albino rhinos!
    • Young Spencer: A game for those who seek to find / A way to leave their world behind.
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Seriously, I can't even open my mouth around you. You don't even know me, but you, like, decided you hate me.
    • Ruby Roundhouse: Look, I just think you live in, like, the "hot popular girl" bubble, you know, where everybody either treats you like a princess or like an object. Maybe it makes you a little self-absorbed or something?
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: That's fair. But do you think that maybe the reason why you are so judgy is because you are like afraid that people are not gonna like you, so you've decided not to like them first? I'm just saying, you're a babe, go with it.
    • Ruby Roundhouse: Look, I just think you live in like the hot popular girl bubble, you know where everybody either treats you like a princess or like an object. Maybe it makes you a little, self-absorbed or something?
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: But do you think that maybe the reason why you are so judgy it's because you are like afraid that people are not gonna like you, so you've decided not to like them first?
    • Seaplane McDonough: Seaplane McDonough reporting for duty.
    • [to Bethany]
    • Alex: Does "phone" mean something different in the future?
    • Nigel: Dr. Bravestone. Famed archaeologist and international explorer. Known across the seven continents for your courageous exploits.
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Is there a seat belt?
    • Nigel: The goal for you. I'll recite in verse / Return the jewel and lift the curse / If you wish to leave the game / You must save Jumanji and call out its name.
    • [after taking a bite of a cake]
    • Moose Finbar: Wait, what - what is this?
    • Moose Finbar: Am I... am I shaking?
    • Ruby Roundhouse: No.
    • Moose Finbar: Am I breaking out?
    • Ruby Roundhouse: No.
    • Moose Finbar: Am I still black?
    • Ruby Roundhouse: Yes.
    • Moose Finbar: Okay. Okay, right? We're fine. Everything is fine. Yeah... no, no, no, it's okay. It probably just meant that I love cake that I couldn't resist it. Hey, it's all good...
    • [Finbar suddenly explodes in a burst of flame]
    • Bread Vendor: That's my famous pound cake.
    • Ruby Roundhouse: Cake? Isn't that your weakness?
    • Moose Finbar: Bethany, you said this was bread!
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: I guess it's been so long, I forget how it tastes like...
    • Moose Finbar: How do you forget what...
    • [looking at Ruby Roundhouse]
    • Moose Finbar: What is happening? Something happens to me?
    • Ruby Roundhouse: No.
    • [Bethany as Prof. Shelly Oberon is about to pee as a male for the first time]
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: So how do we do this?
    • Moose Finbar: What? Are you...? What are you doing? Are you looking?
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Sorry.
    • Moose Finbar: You don't look over here!
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Yeah, you never look. It's a thing.
    • [Unzipping his pants]
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Okay, good boy. We're gonna take this nice and slow, and nobody's gonna get hurt. Now what?
    • Moose Finbar: Now blast off!
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: And aim, don't forget to aim.
    • Moose Finbar: What is with you and aiming? What happened to you?
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Can we not talk about this in mixed company?
    • [Peeing]
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Wow, wow, WOW! Oh, this is so much easier!
    • Moose Finbar: Easy. You just - you unzip, take it out, fire away.
    • [Chuckles]
    • Moose Finbar: It's cool, right?
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Yeah, because you have, like, a handle. The fact that I'm not Instagramming this right now is insane.
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Remember to aim. It's very important.
    • [Gasping]
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Oh my God, you guys, there's like literally a penis attached to my body right now. Martha, come look at my penis!
    • Ruby Roundhouse: No, thanks!
    • Moose Finbar: Is this the first that you've seen it?
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: Yes, I didn't wanna look.
    • Moose Finbar: I looked at mine within the first 20 seconds of getting here. I'm happy to report that I was able to bring one thing from the outside world.
    • [Bethany tried to take a peek at Finbar' peeing]
    • [after watching Bravestone was able to display his list of strengths and weaknesses]
    • Ruby Roundhouse: How'd you do that? That - that list?
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Well, I just - I think I just pressed my... my enormous left pec.
    • [Approaching Ruby]
    • Moose Finbar: It's like the boob area. Let me show you...
    • [extending his hand to touch Ruby's chest]
    • [Slapping away Finbar's hand]
    • Ruby Roundhouse: Get the hell away from me!
    • [after training Ruby Roundhouse to be alluring]
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: You guys, I think this is gonna work.
    • Seaplane McDonough: What do you mean?
    • Moose Finbar: Oh no.
    • Seaplane McDonough: It's 1996
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: You're Alex Vreek, aren't you.
    • Seaplane McDonough: Yeah, that's right.
    • Moose Finbar: Wait a minute, you mean the Freak house?
    • Seaplane McDonough: Wait, what are you... what are you guys talking about? How do you know me?
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Alex, I don't exactly know how to tell you this...
    • [interrupts]
    • Moose Finbar: YOU'VE BEEN IN THIS GAME FOR 20 YEAR!
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: That's probably not how I would have done it.
    • Seaplane McDonough: I think so too. She's pretty fly and those guys, don't meet alot of new people.
    • Seaplane McDonough: What? No, you guys are messing with me, right?
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: No we're not, Alex Vreek, everybody in Brantford knows about you. You're the kid that disappeared, 20 years ago.
    • Seaplane McDonough: 20 years?
    • Moose Finbar: 20 years man, I don't even know how to say this but, Ciny Crawford, dude she's like 50 years old.
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: But still fly.
    • Moose Finbar: Meh.
    • Moose Finbar: Fly?
    • Seaplane McDonough: Well not like, Cindy Crawford fly. But for Jumanji, she da bomb.
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: DA BOMB?
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Cindy Crawford?
    • Moose Finbar: That's your go to?
    • Seaplane McDonough: I'm just saying, I'm sure to they'd like to get jiggy with her.
    • Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Alex, what year do you think it is?
    • Principal Bentley: ...this is what you should be thinking about: Who you are... in this moment of time... and who you want to be. You get one life. You decide how you're gonna spend it. Fortunately... there is no better place for self-reflection... than detention.
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: ...sometimes... it's easy to get so focused on your own stuff that... you forget other people have problems too.
    • Professor Shelly Oberon: I feel like ever since I lost my phone... my other senses have kind of heightened.
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